


the one where simon can't get used to his wings and tail

by valikath



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Comedy, Domestic Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow, Fluff, M/M, Simon Snow's Wings and Tail, idk i found this in my drafts and wanted to post it hehe, simon and baz being idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:13:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27296224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valikath/pseuds/valikath
Summary: some short stories about mishaps that probably happened as simon adjusted to his wings and tail.
Relationships: Penelope Bunce & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

Penny was visiting her family for the week, leaving Baz and Simon with free reign of the apartment. It didn’t really change much, it just meant that they go about their business as usual, except Penelope wasn’t around to nag them when they flirted or were too affectionate. 

Tonight though, they wanted to do something different. Penny had been gone for three days now, and they were getting bored. So, Baz and Simon decided to try and make sour cherry scones from scratch. Penny knew how to make them, she had learned the recipe at some point, though neither of them knew exactly when she had taught herself this. 

So here they were, Simon and Baz in their tiny kitchen with an assortment of ingredients surrounding them while Penelope Bunce watched from her computer and did what she does best, bark orders. Penny had insisted that they already had enough ingredients in the cupboard to make scones, she was being stingy with her recipe and didn’t want to just write it down for them. She claimed she didn’t want them to easily give her secret recipe away to just anyone, even though Simon and Baz insisted, multiple times, that they wouldn’t. Simon had told her she was acting just like her mother and her grandmother, to which she responded by scoffing and walking out of the room (exactly what her mother would have done but Simon didn’t want to anger her further).  
“NOO YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO MIX THE DRY INGREDIENTS TOGETHER BEFORE YOU ADD THE WET INGREDIENTS!!” Penelope yelled at them, if she were here in person she probably would have hit them both and snatched the ingredients from their hands. 

“Why would you add them separately? They’re all going to the same place anyway!” Baz shouted back at her. 

“You just have to, It’s what they do on The Great British Bake-off!” Simon laughed, as he took the flour from Baz who was too preoccupied to even care. 

“I’m not explaining the science to you right now!” She was so close to the camera now, obviously frustrated with two men. “Baz, seriously? I expected better from you!” 

“Why the fuck would I know how to bake bloody scones? I don’t even really care for them,” He complained, “Also that show is boring as fuck I don’t know how the both of you manage to watch it so much.” 

“Don’t speak of The Great British Bake-Off like that, you just have bad taste.” Simon said as he began pouring the dry ingredients into the large bowl they had found (neither of them had known it existed until now). 

“It has nothing to do with taste,” Baz retorted, “It’s bloody boring and I’m surprised you like it so much with that attention span.”

“I like baking!” 

“I have never in my life seen you bake before this very moment, Si.” 

“I’ve just never gotten around to it! Also I just like to watch other people bake, it’s fascinating.”  
“Whatever,” Baz groaned, “What do we do now, Bunce?” 

“Now you add in the pieces of cold butter and mix until it looks like wet sand,” She explained as simply as she could.

Baz turned to the side, searching through the ingredients for the butter, “Okay now where the fuck is it?” 

“It’s right there,” Simon pointed across the counter. 

“Where?!” 

“Right there!” 

“I don’t fucking see it!” 

“It’s by the thing!” 

“What the fuck are you talking about? I don’t see it.” 

“It’s right in fucking front of you!” They were both yelling now, but Simon was laughing, and in the background they could hear Penny wheezing from the computer. Simon reached across Baz, and grabbed the butter from its place right in front of him. 

“Oh…” Baz trailed off, “Yeah, Yeah I saw it that time! I was about to grab it!” 

“Oh, sod off no you weren’t.” Simon was grinning from ear to ear now as he looked at Baz. Baz just playfully glared at him, and grumbled a “whatever” as Simon handed him the bowl of butter.

“Okay, so one of you aixes with the hand mixer.” Penelope ordered from the computer. Simon groans as he squats down by the cupboard where all their pots and pans are, digging around to find the hand mixer. 

“Honestly, why don’t we have a stand mixer? That’s what they always use on The Great British Bake-Off.” Simon complained as he stood back up, the hand mixer in his grasp.

“Merlin, Simon, are you going to talk about the Great British Bake-Off the whole time?” 

“So what if I am?!” 

“Whatever, just give me the hand mixer.” Baz said as he reached out to take it from Simon. Simon backed away, trying his best to move the mixer out of Baz’ reach. 

“Wait, why do you get to use the mixer? I’ve literally been preparing for this moment my whole life, let me have it.” Simon whined, “You can use it next time!” 

Baz rolled his eyes and grabbed the butter, “Fine, Simon, now come on I think Penny’s about to hang up on us out of annoyance.” 

“Actually this is quite entertaining, much more fun than watching whatever reruns my brother is bingeing downstairs.” Penelope interjected, Simon snorted and turned his attention towards the computer.

“Is he still rewatching Doctor Who or has he moved on to something else already?” 

“I think he’s started watching that American show, Criminal Minds, or something like that.” 

“Simon! We need to start mixing,” Baz poked him in the side in an attempt to remind him of the task at hand. Simon jumped with a yelp and Baz snickered, “Merlin, that will never not be funny.” 

“Fuck off, Baz,” Simon joked, “Okay so you gradually add the cold butter pieces while I mix? Right Penn?” They both watched as she nodded and mumbled an “Mhm” from the computer. 

They were standing side-by-side now, and Baz could feel Simon’s tail hitting him in the leg every few seconds. Baz says that it has a mind of its own, his tail always seemed to be moving. When Simon was focusing on something he would swish it from side to side, like the way he used to click his pen or tap his fingers constantly when he was trying to do homework.

“Look at us, being bakers, who would have thought?” Baz joked as he poked Simon in the side again, a little harder than last time. Simon jumped and yelped again, though no one expected his wings to jerk and suddenly come unfolded. Penelope watched in horror as Simon’s wings shot out and Baz suddenly dissappeared from the frame with a loud crash and a “FUCK!” dds the butter in while the other m


	2. Chapter 2

Simon and Penny had only been living in the apartment for a couple of days, both of them still getting used to the layout of their new home. Baz had been over almost every day since they moved in, he had even helped them move in, though he wasn’t much help (of course the person with superhuman strength decided to sit that one out). But Baz was gone today, he was helping his Aunt Fiona with something after his classes were over.

“We’ve only been living here for like half a week and it already feels weird not having Baz here.” Penny said, slumping against the couch as they watched a rerun of The Great British Bake-Off on TV. 

“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that? He’s my boyfriend after all” Simon said from his spot next to her as he tried to get comfortable, it seemed almost impossible to do sometimes with his new appendages. 

“Well he’s my friend, and I’m still getting used to that by the way” 

“Baz being your friend or Baz being my boyfriend?” He glanced over at Penny, finally moving into a comfortable position with his feet resting in her lap. 

“Both? Just Baz being around in general, I think.” Penny said, and Simon could tell she was about to go on about it from the way she took a deep breath and scrunched her eyebrows together. “You both spent like all of our school years at each other's throats-”

“Not all of secondary school, we were only enemies for like the first half of our eighth year,” Simon interrupted. 

“Baz wasn’t even there for the first half of eighth year, he was too busy being held hostage by fucking numpties, so it doesn’t count.” 

“I still considered him my enemy though, so it does count”

“That’s not the point!” She huffed, “It’s just weird how quickly we all went from enemies to friends, like you were ready to be the one who killed Baz in the final battle and next thing I know we’re teaming up to find his mother’s murderer and you two are dating-” 

“Well we weren’t really dating then, all we did was kiss and talk, never even went on a date.”

“In that case you aren’t dating now, Simon, you still haven’t even been on a date.” 

“You don’t know that,” Simon shot back, “We could have secretly gone on a date without telling you.” 

“Have you? Been on a date with Baz?” She raised her eyebrows at him, watching as he turned his head away from her and sighed. 

“No…” 

“Exactly,” she poked his leg, “It’s funny though, how much things have changed in what? Less than a year? I mean you couldn’t wait to get away from Baz and now we basically spend all of our time with him.” 

“Yeah… It’s nice though, I like how things are with us now.” Simon said, staring at the TV. 

“Yeah,” She trailed off as she turned her attention back to the TV. 

“Do you think anyone’s ever made sour cherry scones in the Tent?” Simon asked, breaking the comfortable silence they had fallen into. 

“Probably not, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone use sour cherries at all in there.”

Simon whined, “Fuck, now I want sour cherry scones.” He turned his head back to Penelope and nudged her with his foot, “go get me some from the kitchen.” 

“No! You have feet, go get them yourself!” She shoved his feet off of her, and he moved them back almost immediately. 

“But I just got comfortable! If I get up now I’ll have to spend another 10 minutes trying to get comfortable again.” 

“No, I’m not your bloody maid.”

“Pleeeeasssseeeee.”

“No.” 

“Pennyyyyyy”

“No!”

“Fine! I guess I’ll go get some myself,” Simon said dramatically as he sat up, throwing his arms in the air. Everything would have been fine, but upon dramatically sitting up and throwing his arms in the hair; Simon’s wings also unfolded, knocking a vase and a picture frame off of the side table. Simon froze, arms still in the air, and Penny stared in horror as they heard the sound of glass shattering. 

“Sorry?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was actually the first one i wrote but i think chapter one was my favorite idea akdjaksksks i just love simon sm 🥺🥺 he deserves the world

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! i wrote these maybe over a year ago??? there were originally supposed to be five in one chapter but maybe i'll just upload them as they come to me hehe :)) you can follow me on tumblr @valikath <3


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